Having recently celebrated a birthday, our Resident Gay is back and poring over skaters again to tell you what birds (via their gay best mate) are really looking for. Harlow’s High5 Rider, Mr Scott Horsey Walker is next in the gaze of the gay…
Word on the street is that you boys (and girls? Can girls skate?) either love me or hate me! For those of you who are loving it, you are in for a big gay treat! For those of you feeling a bit uncomfortable I’d like to say: you really shouldn’t read what follows, it’s packed with COCK and MAN LOVE. Anyway, this queer eye column is brought to you by sodomy and chardonnay!
Appearance – Looks
Not bad. Not really my type but I wouldn’t kick him out of bed. However, it’s not the look of his face that has me intrigued about this one. His nickname is apparently “Horsey”? I assume that is a reference to his cock. Hello!
Appearance – Clothing
At first glance I thought, great, another boring skater wardrobe to try to pick apart. Sorry guys, I love you, but it’s not for your keen fashion sense. But upon further review I realized this man can actually dress. He knows how to put an ensemble (that’s gay/French for outfit) together and doesn’t rely exclusively on jeans and a t-shirt. He’s working everything from a vest (and I mean WORKING IT) to a t-shirt to an ACTUAL shirt. I’m on the fence about the hat but if he’s willing to discuss it I’m sure I could find another place to sit (I’m talking about his lap. His naked lap). My barometer for good dressing is does his outfit look so good that I want to tear it off? And here we have a winner!
Scott’s hair is amazing but for this he actually loses points due to jealousy. It’s big and wild and beautiful… coincidentally that’s also what I look for in black women. It’s got that just rolled out of bed look without looking like he literally just rolled out of bed. This is a look I try for myself but within minutes I’ve got a pile of limp nothing sitting on my head. I know myself well enough to know that I would only come to resent a man with better hair than me. But enough of my personal struggles!
This fool is nuts! He’s all over the ramps and pipes and whatnot. And although it makes me nervous worrying that’s he going to fall and hurt his “Horsey” it’s still very exciting. I respect a man with the balls (mmmm, balls) to fall down, get back up, and try it again. There’s a “get back on that Horsey” joke in here somewhere but I’m above that sort of crude humour.
He’s no Tom Harrison (Hi Tom! Still waiting on my phone call…) but I’m warming up to him. Perhaps he could buy me a drink and we could see where things go. No seriously, the bottle is empty, he should buy me a drink. Besides, another few of these and I’m pretty sure we can turn that “maybe” into a blowie, maybe even a rusty trombone (google it)